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it's time for fall

by sage boggs

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1.
it's that time of year take a train upstate  grab a few good friends and a wooden crate a burberry scarf lookin fashion forward snappin pics while you pick in an apple orchard apple picking apple picking you go pick pick pick pic pic pic a-p-p-l-e-p-i-c, king some apples are red some apples are green some apples are golden but they're all pristine that autumnal breeze smell of hay and cattle call me “Steve Jobs” i love apple apple picking apple picking you go pick pick pick pic pic pic a-p-p-l-e-p-i-c, king put em in a pie, put em in a cider put em in a basket, watch em expire put em in a sauce, put em in a tart put em in a bowl, and paint you some art put em in kombucha, a bread, a butter, bruschetta caramelize or candy, crostini, doesn't get better apple fritter, apple anything there's so many features take one and give it to your favorite teacher man I go nuts for the donuts with the cinnamon suge pickin, gettin smitten by a nearby babbling brook climbin ladders, nothing matters when you’re pickin with peers so many apples i haven't seen a doctor in years apple picking apple picking you go pick pick pick pic pic pic a-p-p-l-e-p-i-c, king post your pics on instagram and facebook as well but if your pics don’t get at least a hundred likes i mean, you might as well kill yourself
2.
adjacent to the orchard is a pumpkin patch little kiddies getting giddy as they make their snatches grab a sturdy stiff stem, whether small or large take that orange globe home and get ready to carve (what do I do?) cut a circle up top (then what?) pull out the guts and the pumpkin slop (and after that?) cut a crooked mouth and triangle eyes (what’s next?) take a candle and then put it inside we’re carving pumpkins all across the states yeah, we’re carving pumpkins stab a fruit in the face a pumkin in new york? this sounds like "Flavor of Love" grab a bumpy chunky lumpy runt or all the above put the newspaper down so it can catch all the muck cuz we’re about to take a pumpkin and go full Nip Tuck (what do I do?) put the pump on the porch (then what?) throw in some corn and a couple of gourds (after that?) add a bale of hay to the spot (what’s next?) spend the season watchin everything rot DEATH, DECAY, DECOMPOSITION MOLDY MUY HORRIFIC BETTER CALL A MORTICIAN SPOOKY SCARY SEEPAGE FROM ITS ANGULAR EYES FROM A PUMPKIN TO NOTHING REMEMBER EVERYTHING DIES we’re carving pumpkins ain't it the best yeah, we’re carving pumpkins jack o' lanterns look like they’re hooked on meth your kids are only six at the start of their life so grab a big ol’ pumpkin and then give 'em a knife
3.
i can feel the breeze it’s no longer in the seventies i can feel the wind blowing through these deadass leaves when it’s not so hot everything is better you know what it is it’s goddamn sweater weather i’m talkin’ 58 degrees in mid-October wearing tees with a hoodie pulled over or a wool-knit sweater to hide my scrawny body so cozy it’s a shame I look like Bill Cosby i’ll take em striped like Waldo, and torn like Freddy rock the mock like Velma, any way I’m ready so the tanks and jorts I shall get to ditching find my dad’s old stash and then get to itching i can feel the breeze it’s no longer in the seventies i can feel the wind blowing through these deadass leaves when it’s not so hot everything is better you know what it is it’s goddamn sweater weather sweater weather’s better than every kind of weather the air pressure is lesser, my pleasure’s too high to measure forever thee I’ll treasure, and yes my sweater’s new cuz I had a gift card to J.Crew (SPONSORED) crew neck, turtleneck, or Mr. Rogers cardi wear ‘em to the park or a fall-time party perfect for relaxing next to fires de bon and when we have sex, I keep the sweater on cuz I’m insecure about my weird, lumpy torso i have a weird, lumpy torso and the sweater lets me hide it and the sweater lets me hide it
4.
i woke up sweating drenched and feeling hot now I’m regretting not getting my shot yeah, I’ve got chills man, I’m going to puke i have never seen such a watery dook influenza: such a beautiful word influenza: how is there not a cure influenza: fluids galore influenza: my entrails on the floor boss I am sorry i’m calling in sick cuz I’m shitting out blood and coughing up shit yes, I feel awful but what do you know i finally found time to watch the Steve Harvey show influenza: such a beautiful word influenza: how is there not a cure influenza: --
5.
jumping in the leaves everything is great shout out to the trees shout out to the rakes sittin here is swell listen to the birds wait what is that smell ahh I sat in a dog turd
6.
fleet foxes, pump it into my veins fleet foxes, mixing hope with pain fleet foxes, harmonies so good let’s drop everything and move into the woods melancholy as fuck elegiac as shit bang a white winter hymnal man it's fucking legit bump a pastoral ballad and just stare at the sky i’m on that fleet fox radio and ready to cry fleet foxes, pump it into my veins fleet foxes, mixing hope with pain fleet foxes, harmonies so good let’s drop everything and move into the woods fleet foxes is what happens if a barn were a band make me wanna quit my 9 to 5 and tend to the land build a little log cabin and get rid of my phone build a giant bonfire and just read all alone rocking flannel every chance I get and growing a beard wearing woolen overcoats from a sheep that I sheared now I whittle for fun and write poems to cope my wife is a maple tree, my bestie’s a goat my son is a scarecrow and my mom is the sun my dad is a river and my daughter’s a gun gonna see to my crops and make peace with my god oh you pick apples for fun? that shit is my job so welcome to the mountain, it’s my humble abode and if you throw on Bon Iver I’m gonna fuckin explode fleet foxes, another beautiful chorus fleet foxes, folk, men, forests fleet foxes, allaying all my fears up next a little Sufjan while I drink my tears
7.
i walk into the corn maze these things are the best first I take a couple rights then a couple of lefts then I take a right then I take a left then a left, left, right take a left then a right then I take a couple of lefts then it’s left, right, right, right left, left, right, right right, right, right, left, left then right then a right, then a right and then a right, and then a right and then a right, and then a right and then a right, and then a right and then a right, and then left uh oh, the sun is starting to set so I jump up high after taking a right and I scream for help with all of my might i run through the corn, cuz now it is night and the people at the farm have turned off the lights i look at my phone but I don’t have service i scream even louder and start to get nervous i go missing for days, a search party is called but they never find my body and the case is unresolved but I didn’t die, I’m now one with the corn i embraced the sweet kernels til my body was reborn now I am a stalk and with any luck the harvest will be bountiful and I will shucked but come next fall, at the end of my days as children wearing sweaters run by in waves my body will be still but my mind will be crazed as I scream in total silence: STAY OUT OF THE MAZE!

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released October 3, 2019

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sage boggs New York, New York

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